There is one single thing that ties together all of humanity. One thing that we all crave. The thing that lifts us up when we have it, taunts us when we don’t, and fills us with a sense of purpose either way.
We are all, inherently, searching for our people.
The belief that we are alone in this world is so terrifyingly universal that it has become the internal mantra of the masses. Somehow, somewhere along the way, we were taught to believe that we don’t belong. That our people do not exist. That we are not even worthy of those people. That they probably do exist somewhere in the world, just without us. Instead they have friends who all have cocktail parties with perfect a-line dresses and shopping trips while giggling and holding hands. They probably have perfectly clean kitchen islands made of pristine white marble with fresh cut flowers in the centre. There is no chance they spend their days in yoga pants whilst never actually doing yoga. They would never wear yesterdays messy bun. And one cup of coffee probably gives them the exact amount of caffeine to fuel their day.
Here’s the thing. Those people absolutely exist. Trust me, they do. I have seen them with my own two eyes. I have attempted to be a part of their circles. I have done the dinners and the wine tastings. I have been a part of the play dates and the baby field trips. I have gone to the charity auctions and the golf tournaments and the bake sales and the zoo fundraisers, and all the things that ask for the money. I have gone through the trenches so you don’t have to. I have spent years chasing an illusion of perfection that did not make me feel happy or uplifted. Because seriously, those are not my people. That life is work. Like really hard work. I can barely be convinced to change out of my pajamas in the morning. Not my people.
Everyone has people.
“The biggest obstacle to happiness is your own damn self”. Who said that? I did. Just now. And it’s true. You are the person standing in the way of your people. Your tribe is all around you but you’re probably too busy looking for the cool kids. I bet you truly believe that the cool kids are out there. That popularity is still a thing, and a thing that’s determined by the number of outings on your social calendar….. gurl, it’s not high school and life just doesn’t work that way anymore. Actually, I’m not even sure life even worked that way back then. I’m fairly positive that I successfully went through my entire high school experience being popular and have no idea. Yeah. The cool kids? They’re lonely too.
It took me three decades and a room full of twelve year old bun heads to realize that I already had my tribe, and they looked just like me. We like puns and ill-timed dry humour. We know a few too many Disney lyrics and our Pinterest boards are full of things we’ll order on Amazon. We love motivational quotes, especially if they have curse words, and memes fill our newfeeds. We are happy, supportive, uplifting and honest. We are not carbon copies of each other, but instead, celebrate our differences. They were always there. I just kept looking past them.
There is a Christina to every Meredith. A dark and twisty to balance out all the sunshine. A yin to a yang. A Kanye for every Kanye.
We have a tribe…. it’s over here.